The Loyal Bushies' Excellent Debate Club

Ever since George W. Bush won the only vote that mattered — 5 to 4 in the Supreme Court — we’ve been told by those who support him that so many of the issues we thought were settled, aren’t.

When we were horrified at learning our government was engaged in the regular practice of torture, we were told that there’s a “debate” about what constitutes torture. So we debated.

When we demanded that our government do something about man-made global warming, we were told there’s a “debate” about whether global warming is man-made. So we debated this, too.

Now, we’re told by White House press secretary Dana Perino that there’s a “debate” about whether the vice president’s office is part of the executive branch.

At long last, instead of engaging in the so-called debate, our pundits and politicians are saying what they should have said about all along when the loyal Bushies pretended that settled information is mere hypothesis. Vice President Cheney is part of the executive branch. It says so right there in the U.S. Constitution. Go look, but don’t come back and waste our time with plans to debate about it.

These are fairly straightforward issues. If some folks insist they require debate, the reason is strategic. So long as the "debate" continues, accepted facts aren't acted upon.

STRATEGY: Insist that there's a debate about whether the globe is actually warming; or about whether the warming is man-made
RESULT: No action on this imminent global threat. Americans, instead of demanding change, get diverted into proving the false arguments false.

STRATEGY: Insist that there is a debate about whether waterboarding, stress positions, psychological torment, and other standard torture techniques in use by the U.S. government are torture.
RESULT: Instead of rallying to end torture, people are put on the defensive where first they must prove torture is torture. As long as the diversionary debate continues, so does the torture.

STRATEGY: Insisting that there’s a debate about whether the vice president is a part of the executive branch of government.
RESULT: This one isn’t working. We were supposed to get sidetracked into questioning the obvious here, too, but maybe there just aren’t as many loyal Cheney-ites as there are loyal Bushies. The result is we’re all staring at the naked vice-emperor, laughing our asses off.

But unless we reject all the phony arguments, without giving them the credence they strive for through debate, the joke is still on us.

Global warming is an imminent threat. Torture is torture. And Vice President Cheney, whatever else he is, belongs to the executive branch. For another 16 (looooooong) months, anyway.